Be happy! It really messes with their heads

One of the things I love is, despite any attempt to bring me down, I generally remain happy. There is no doubt that initially when I see things without my rose colored glasses on, I am deeply hurt and disappointed, but it never lasts long, I am resilient and truly have a wonderful home life as well as friendships that are positive, fulfilling, and loving. 

There are several people I know, and have been friends with for well over 26 years. We have had moments, but never fights or sour words, we respect each others differences, we don't try to change one another, and we never call each other names. One thing we have always done is be respectful to one another, it has never been "my way or the highway". We actually love one another and each other's families as well. 

If or when, someone enters your life, for whatever reason, and there is always a reason, and they are initially a great help or just a warm person to be around, and you find that really changes into something of quite the opposite, there is also a reason for that. It is not to teach you anything really, but nevertheless it will, I believe that the reason is to gauge how well we respond to it, because that..will surly show your own personality.  You will do the usual mourning of losing someone you considered a friend, and hopefully you will quickly move on. It is important to focus on what is positive in your life and smile..be happy to be rid of someone who may have cursed you out behind your back, or used you for financial gain, or maybe just took for you for their mule. Whatever the case, be happy that the person(s) and the universe showed you that he and or she does NOT have you or your best interests at heart! It WELL & TRULY is a Blessing!!!  No more wasting time..

I love that I have such a wonderful disposition that I bounce back..there is no doubt that I will recall what the person(s) did from time to time, but I certainly do not live my daily life based upon it. I love my life way too much for that! I love the real friends that I do have and treasure way too much for that. Imagine if I let the actions of a few, impact my life so much that I began to become judgmental, suspicious and overly opinionated with real friends?? That would be catastrophic! They do not deserve that, no good friend does, no matter if this is a friend of one month or 3 centuries!

Be happy!!! Smile in the face of adversity, stand up to a bully and stick up for yourself! If you feel that you can't? Send me a message, I will help you overcome that!

xoxox

SOBRIA.

Bitter or Angry?

I asked myself this question the other day because as I read my own blog, I thought, WOW you are either bitter or angry, maybe even both!!! I needed to be honest with myself and the answer was- yes, I am angry. I am angry about many things from the past, very angry in fact. 

Anyone who has endured much of the things that I have, I believe would feel no differently. What does not help is those disappointments and unrelenting heartbreaks are so close to the surface, yet we go through our lives day to day not really thinking about it anymore..believing it is the past. I am here to say that for me, it really isn't, it is as close to the surface as it can get. How I know this is due to a process called self preservation. Which I can describe for me to be about ensuring I do not allow anyone to be abusive toward me ever again, to make sure that I do not associate with anyone who has displayed an abusive nature. 

I do not play well with those whose first love is money and power.  Immediately ones mind may go to a politician or some sort of profession. However, I am really talking about ordinary people.  Some "ordinary" people wield power in different ways, it might be in the office, a boss that never asks, or says would you or could you please..instead may just slam things on your desk and demand a time frame for it to be done.  It might be a spouse who is verbally abusive and goes out of his or her way to humiliate you, it could be a friend who never misses an opportunity to let you know that he or she is doing far better in life than you are..it could also be a child abuser and/or an animal abuser, depending on which one they have.. children or animals.  It could be someone who refuses to take no for an answer..and just pushes and pushes..by saying no, you are making them feel powerless, thus they relentlessly call and call if you have hung up on them..or if you have for example..requested they no longer contact you, will continue to do so..a lot. Just a few examples that I consider to be traits of an "ordinary" person who is in love with power (and control).   Money, we all know those whose first love is money; in my opinion, they are the ones that constantly flash it..talk about what they have bought (always pricey items), vacations, boats, cars, toys, and everything else. Generally, you know how much their mortgage is, how much their car cost, how much private school for the children cost, how much their jewelry is worth, and what they make a year, or a week..whichever they carry on about. They generally pick friends who they deem to be less fortunate..because lets face it, if they hung around those who made as much, whether they made it known to everyone else or not, it would be a challenge for them to brag..now wouldn't it?  

Those are the sort of people I just can't stand to be around. I am not intimidated by anyone in power, I am not jealous of anyone who lives well and I surly do not feel inferior by either. What I do feel is a sense of disgust at the behavior..period. This is NOT to say that everyone who holds high professional positions and make excellent money are all lovers of money and power first, or at all. There are many people who are definitely financially secure with a powerful position in life who are compassionate, loving and caring. I have lived well, and I have lived on an excellent income, and I never demanded anything from anyone, I never bragged about what I had, in fact, I preferred that no one knew. I was generous, usually anonymously, and sometimes not so much, especially if anyone needed help and came to me for that help, I always helped. I never felt I was better than anyone else and I never treated anyone as if I were. BECAUSE I WASN'T. Money does NOT make anyone BETTER in ANY sense. The only thing anyone should judged on is who they are as a person, nothing else.

When I mentioned that my bitterness or anger is generally close to the surface, I did so because I have seen myself in action (obviously). I do not tolerate blatant disrespect towards myself or my loved ones..ever and I am not ashamed to admit it. I do not deserve it..no one deserves it..not an ordinary person. Yes, there are crimes committed that we may make comments on that are disrespectful, but it is because of what they have done, this is not what I am talking about when I say that no one deserves it. 

  

Sometimes I wonder if I am the "watch" for things with people that I know I just can't handle or accept..but in thinking about that, I will say..no, I am not. I am myself when I meet someone, I expect them to be as well, I do not pre -judge anyone, I do not look for bad things, when I have decided that I like them, I just enjoy them for who they are. Basically, as best as I can describe it, it is when they feel comfortable enough around me to be themselves that I will know who they really are, which naturally occurs when you spend a great deal of time with them. When I see dominating behavior, or a love of money & power..I'm instantly disappointed. I know that my sense of right and wrong can not tolerate that in my life..been there & done that..and those feelings of anger resurface, the ones I thought were in my past..and I must wash my hands of the situation with those people. I will have nothing to do with them.

It might sound as if I think I am really something special..that couldn't be further from the truth..but what I am is honest, especially with myself. I can not feel and be content in MY life if I allow myself to be surrounded by those who pretend to want to see you do well, while praying that you don't, by those who use you as their sounding board, yelling their vile profanity and hate, by those that want you to feel defeated by letting you know how far you must go to reach their level (they measure success by money & power)..by ANYONE who isn't a "friend". 

You also do not need those kind of people in your life. Live well, live happily, live contently..take the trash in your life, to the trash and don't look back.

xoxo SOBRIA.

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