Admins of facebook groups

Have you ever noticed that an admin of any group on Facebook believes that somehow they have become king or queen of an entire country?  I have.

Examples I have seen are a disturbing trend amongst those with self-esteem issues lower than the roots of a thirty-year-old tree.

Of course, we also see this with comments on news stories, especially if President Donald Trump is the subject. It's pretty embarrassing to see people acting like a bunch of angry mongrels.  In fact, anything regarding the President and any defense of him comes with backlash and the reason is simple, ego and brain bleeding. Just my humble opinion.  If you believe everything that a far right or left wing news agency prints, you are fairly stupid.  We have a once respected newspaper writing "opinion" pieces that are heavily democratic in opinion, no in-between. Most people read these opinion propaganda and believe it is actual news because of the paper that is spewing it. Wake up for the love all things sacred.  Now we also have the flip side, where pro POTUS also slants things to a point in which it is inaccurate.

Back to the point of my post here -

No one rules you and no one should, it is up to you see something and question it, especially behavior...or stories that seem particularly slanted.

You do not NEED to be in a group or on a page, they need you and the more people that leave it due to seeing abuse and snarky behavior, the more they will have to pipe down and realize who's really in charge.  If you witness the unfair treatment of another member, leave the group, if you like it, start your own and remember you are not a King or a Queen just a humble person who expects others to treat members with honesty, dignity, and kindness. It really isn't that hard, unless one's ego is far bigger than they are and that is always the case.

I have seen other members behave in a bullying and demeaning type of way in many groups I have been in, I leave them!! I will not give a page or group numbers who allow such abuse to go unchecked. Most times though, it is an admin.

The all mighty GOD of a page or group that say "this is MY group or MY page"...yeah idiot, we know and you need members so....have a cup of shutty.  Funny, because it cost them nothing to create and it costs them nothing to run except internet. NO one has ever purchased an internet plan to run a page or group, again, shut up.  Also, Facebook owns that page, it is on their site, they didn't purchase anything.

Oh, and the rules....so fun!!  Many are "you can't share the content of this page"...Really? Why not? Is it illegal content? Where did you get the content from and then share it on your page or in your group?  How about "you can not delete a comment!" Oh, so if someone accidentally tags a friend on a post, when said friend is not in group or page, you must leave it or .....be BANNED!!!!  The horror!!!

Or, you must post all photos one at a time, and others, you must put all photos in an album or be called stupid, and BANNED!!!!!

How about the groups that think they are elite? You know the ones...secret groups that are created by one country to criticize the citizens of another country that they moved to!! YES, these exist and IF you ever dare question them, guess what?  You are messaged to be told you are not welcome said group and BANNED!  That actually happened to me. Ask me how much I care! I do not. I think anyone who moves to another country and I do not care why, should embrace the culture, food, people and way of life. NOT create a group that specifically bans people from the said country and goes about whinging and whining about everything that has to do with the country. It is pathetic and it is negative.  There is no power of positivity in looking for things and people to hate.

If you are a humble, kind, and have integrity, leave any type of page like that and make your own, in doing so you are taking a small step to add more light and more positivity to the lives of those who visit it.

Sobria.


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Facebook Mom

I am seeing this more and more and it is really grating at my last nerve! 

I don't mind of course seeing a mom post to their child's wall "dinner is ready", though I admit I don't like seeing it a lot, it isn't as bothersome as a lot of other things I do see.

How about those moms who carry on and on and on at how much they love their child, hold discussions with them about personal things on Facebook. I see something very disturbing about this when these two are in the same house!  

Is it not possible to love your child off of Facebook or tell them off of Facebook? Why is so important that everyone think you're a stellar mom - on Facebook?  If you can't hop off your computer and talk to your child when the child posts he doesn't want to even live anymore, you aren't a stellar mom, you're ignorant and a terrible mother, in my opinion.  This "mom" posts his wall back saying "don't say things like that honey. I love you to the moon and back."   How about you get up off your ass and go to that child, he is in the same house!  How about you not engaging in drinking with that child when he isn't even of age? I saw that post too.  And the Mother of the year award goes to..not her or anyone like her. 

I guess that goes in line with those who have perfect lives on social media, always had a great day, with great friends, and had great food...or they are off to vacation, again!!  Perhaps it's the photos of the new car, the new house, or the numerous happy snaps.  It seems that people don't go anywhere or do anything without planning the pictures to post on Facebook. How about those moms and dads who can't even take their child to the park without being on Facebook, taking 30 photos, of all the same thing, and posting them. Or the young girls taking the half-naked bathroom selfies, protruding those duck lips...or the boys, shirtless in the bathroom, flexing but trying to look like they're not.   There is always the "group" of people that must post pics and statutes about everything that they are doing, but only if it is fun.   

Facebook moms really irritate me. Yes, I tell my kids I love them on Facebook, but they don't live with me, they're adults, I don't however make a big habit of it. Instead, I call them or private message them to have a conversation. I think that is appropriate. I kid around with them on Facebook, keeping it light and easy, no need for the intimate details of who we are as people and as a family to be public knowledge.  That is the way I see it.  I'm not talking about your child graduating from any school and you not being over the moon and expressing it!  Nor am I talking about being happy and proud over an achievement they've done.  Those ARE  the reasons to express your love, pride, and excitement for them.

For the rest of it, I guess what bugs me is the intent behind it, intentional or not...it's too look like your life is oh so much better than most..and when you see you are doing that or someone actually points it out by saying something like "wow, you have a wonderful family life, is everything always so perfect and loving?"  That is when you'll throw in a status -  "I just received my electric bill, I can't believe the increase!!!!!!!!!   At first, I thought it might be a faulty appliance causing it, but remembered, that is not possible, all of my appliances are brand new, I guess I'll just have to cut my vacation back from 10 days to 7 days in order to pay it. :-(  Life can be so unfair!"   <-----still will NOT concede that life isn't perfect everyday..lol    Trust me when I tell you, I know these people, they're obviously on my friend's list, life is far from perfect ...yet for some idiotic reason they live and breathe for making people think it is.  I don't get it.

Perhaps I should not feel irritated, annoyed, or nerve-wracked by it, but instead pity them..but I've never been one to just dole out pity to anyone for any reason..

I don't see that changing.

~Sobria~

You canFollow me by clicking here.

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broken family

A death in the family should bring people closer together, not rip the family further apart.  While my family is quite divided, I would have thought this terrible tragedy would have brought about resolve, peace, and love as we all struggle to deal with the loss. I was wrong --

It's been a nightmare that started when I learned my youngest brother had been killed. He was walking to an appointment and the driver of the car was blinded by the sun and struck him and killed him instantly. It was an accident and very unfortunate. I'm not overly angry with the driver, though on that road, anyone who drives it in the morning knows the sun rises in the East, he was driving headed east, his sunglasses should have been already on..but focusing on that is laying blame and that is not what this is about.  

After finding out, it didn't get any better..

I have a particular niece who loves to argue, lie and stir trouble. She is addicted to attention, be it good, bad or indifferent and she absolutely hates me. Mainly, I feel, because I have called her out on the lies about her mother and everything else she can think of and set her straight with the truth. Naturally, she does not like that, it embarrasses her and makes her look bad in front of the friends she is trying to impress or gain attention from.  She doesn't like me and the feeling is mutual, especially when I know I couldn't trust her with an eraser, not because she'd steal it, but because she would try to use it to erase the truth, facts and distort reality. At any rate, she will take any opportunity to say something snotty and insulting to me, on the internet of course. Face to face she is as nice as warm apple pie. She did this the day after my brother was killed. Albeit I was, in fact, having a go at my brothers ex, who I'll call "cat," who had left him numerous times and only a few days prior to his death, left him again, and he found out for someone else, she refused to answer his calls or text messages as to why but he found out through mutual friends. As she posted his Facebook wall numerous times saying how much she loved and missed him, I became increasingly annoyed and finally asked her to please stop!  That's when the argument started, not with her, but with the niece, then the sister gets in on it, though she started off abrasive she toned it down, but it went from there, my nephew even commented a few times but nothing insulting to me.  Eventually, it calmed, but not for a while and not even when another family member commented that it was all embarrassing. It was unnecessary for the niece to stick her nose in, to defend someone she never even met the person. I was directing my words to that someone I did know and had met A for my niece, my brother had not much use for her and said as much many times for the same reasons I don't.  So it wasn't about anything other than her seeing an opportunity to say things, many things that were unkind, unwelcome, vulgar and rude. 

Then..there was the ex-family member, I'll call "Bea" who doesn't like Cat either but really hates the ex prior to that one who I'll call "Mabel, "who I get along with because I have that right.  Also, there was not a lot of bad blood between my brother and her considering she visited him and even stayed in his house for a few months, all platonic.  Naturally, none of those things are going to make this person like her, respect her or even want to tolerate her and yes, she does have valid reasons, but that is HER, not me nor my mom or anyone else.  Obviously, they do not like one another and that is between them.  When the ex-girlfriend, Mabel, wrote on a photo of my brother that she had some pictures for his kids and would bring them to the funeral, I simply replied with "thank you".  I quickly got an email from Bea stating that no one is to give her children anything without her permission and that the boys didn't even want to see her, it would be too upsetting for them, naming reasons that seemed to be more from her mouth than theirs. These children are early teens and had a relationship with Mabel as she lived with their dad just two years prior to his death.  Further to that, I should have told to her to "f-off," where was my temper? etc.  I cannot be bullied like that or manipulated to be cross with someone who made a kind gesture. Bea was insulted because Mabel bypassed her and spoke to me when Bea and I were talking on the photo. I understand that being insulting, however, they did not get along, why then would Mabel write directly to Bea? She wouldn't, not would I in that situation. This is years of bad blood, further, in my opinion, don't yell at me about it, go tell Mabel what you think, if you in-fact feel that offended and you want to say something vulgar to her..you do it.  When the argument with Bea started it was to do with this issue, where she told me that if I didn't want to, I should have just told her to do it herself.  While I am thinking, I shouldn't have to, I should not have been asked to do it, to begin with. I'm an adult, I am not in high school and I don't do anyone's bidding for them as no one does mine either. Why should I make enemies, soothe someone else's ego? I don't think that I should. I like to pick and choose my battles and I don't go after folks who are friends of mine no matter who doesn't like them.  I will say this, while I sympathize with Mabel, and on a one to one level with her, we get along, I don't like a lot of things that went on her relationship with my brother, and yes, sometimes those things affected me very much, but it was their business and not mine. Would I have wanted my brother back with her?  No, but only because of their past and the inability to ever get along among other things, no more than I did his recent ex. But that is not my call NOR is it my business. If my brother was happy? I was happy. This did not go well with Bea who had been saying she loved me and I saying I loved her too for years...and the tension grew, then it mushroomed into more things I did that made her angry, things I didn't even know she was mad at me for.  I explained to Bea that I emailed Mabel and asked her to just put the photos in an envelope and leave them on the tray, say good-bye to my brother and please be on her way, she knew why and she promised me she would comply. I also explained to Bea that I would not email Cat, as my disgust with her would not allow it. At that time, I began getting berated for my dislike of one and not the other, that is what it boiled down to. But using the children's feelings as reasons for me being wrong.  I finally came out with what was on my mind and explained I really felt that she was using the children (teenagers) as an excuse for her own agenda and I still do feel that way...I could be wrong but I don't think I am.  Even if I am wrong, I am not wrong for how I feel, how I act, yes, how I feel? I don't think so.  It snowballed from there to being accused of making her look like an asshole over my brother's ashes.  The story with that is that I was told what would be done with his ashes and who was controlling that decision. I did not like the idea at all and I asked Bea what her opinion was, she didn't either and mentioned perhaps her kids would like to have them, she did not know. So I took the initiative and called my mom and mentioned this conversation and she said, you know? You are right, they should be asked. My head has been in such a fog, it didn't even occur to me.  I called mom back a few hours later to see if anything had been accomplished, she told me that the kids would be offered. I was so happy and told Bea, by then she had spoken with her kids and they were quite happy with the original plan, so it would stay as it was, but at least, to me...they were asked what they wanted.

Suddenly, I am a bad person for doing that as I made Bea look like an asshole. I don't get it?  

Then I was a shit-stirrer and then a bitch, and so on. It became all too much for me, I am grieving the loss of my brother, so I simply advised her that I loved her and I am here for her and the kids, as I always have been but I refuse to do this anymore, it had been 2 hours of me defending myself, explaining myself and I was getting nowhere. So, a 15-year relationship is down the tubes and I feel mainly because I would not tell someone she hates to F-off.  I suppose it was a relationship much more superficial than I ever thought, which makes me sad.

Over the week of my brother's death, I think I had fights with 3 people all except one was a family member, all the while grieving. It is so sad, even though I did actually start one of them, with Cat.  I know that she knew she'd get a reaction, it's what she did with my brother, be an instigator to get a fight, well I'm not sorry a bit because as I see it...I beat her at her own game and how do I know?  I woke to an email from her on the day of my brother's wake that read "your brother didn't even like you, so f-off".  Well, if that doesn't say she tried to hurt me deep nothing does! I am unaffected, my brother and I had a good relationship and there is nothing she can say to change that. One has to wonder though, what kind of person does that? A mean spirited, hateful person is my guess.

I must come to realize that this family is broken and it is no longer up to me to try and salvage it. If you can't gather willing participants, it is broken and that is how it shall stay. That is so depressing, thank goodness for good friends and a wonderful husband and other members of the family who love me dearly as I do them.

Take care and have a wonderful holiday season.

Sabria.

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Why am I so intuitive?

Having recently had a wonderful visit with a dear friend, who's more like a twin, I say that because we are very much alike. It is of great comfort to me to know her and spend time with her because if I did not have her, I would go through life explaining that I am not a judgmental, paranoid bitch.  Having someone in my life who is on top of her game as I am, I never feel the need to explain.


I realize that a lot of what people say and do are "habits"..and that is something I do as well. I may respond to a comical email with "how funny"..instead of using my own brain and writing "I think that was so funny, I really laughed!".  I may also "automatically" be polite because I am polite and very much about respect. In hindsight though, I will ask myself "why didn't you just tell ____to to take a long walk off a short pier?" Or be more direct and tell them exactly what is on your mind??  Because sometimes you aren't in the mood to have a headache that will ensue, and sometimes you just do the polite thing and provide grace (not being mean when you could be) because, in reality, you are not aggressive..unless you are forced to be.  So, I get ALL that...I DO.


What I don't GET is those that constantly lie, pretend, sneak, and plot. They do this with their friends, they do this with co-workers, job applications, the tax department (idiots), and everything they come into contact with. There's always a plan, if you will, to have it all come out in their favor. Leave nothing to fate, because they know that fate doesn't like their kind much at all. 


Many people are just unhappy, and for good reasons some of the time, finances stink, relationship stinks, maybe they have lost someone they love dearly to the heavens, maybe they have lost their job, it could be that they have had or been in a terrible accident or some trauma, it could just be GUILT..whatever it is, for each person it is REAL and it does affect them and how they carry out their day to day to lives.  It doesn't have to, but you can't tell them that unless they want to change their lives around.


The sort of people I am speaking about may well have those issues, and it could very well be what makes them the "demons shat from hell" that they are today..frankly, I don't give a fuck!  Should those people find themselves in my exclusive circle of people that I call my friends, (not my facebook friends, my REAL friends) they will swiftly find out, and become greatly annoyed that they can not pull their shit with me. Ah, yes, for a while, they will...because I am a trusting person, and I am a person who overlooks A LOT of things in order not to be "all up in their business" so to speak.  It is not a requirement of friends to agree on everything n' anything..sometimes you have to accept their false as they must accept yours..but only up to the point that you see their false lies within their soul and they are actually soul-sucking demon in human clothing. That's when most run..but it is when I expose them..initially, people will say "nooo, you have them all wrong"..or "you're reading too much into it", and even "do you even like anybody?"..these things I must live with, but I do not stop ripping layer after layer down..and finally, people see what I showed them all along..no..it isn't rewarding, it pisses me off because I HAD TO PROVE I WAS RIGHT  to be believed. BUT, that is HOW good these fuckers make themselves out to be. Except with me. 


I watch someone's face and eye movement when telling me a story without even realizing it..because when I begin to doubt the story, I will later (even months later) recall what they were wearing, their facial expression, eye movements, the pitches in their voice, their hand gestures, etc.and I know when someone is talking to me, I'm not analyzing them, on a conscious level, anyway. 


I have always disliked a woman my step-brother married, I never met her in my life..just email contact and later facebook contact..I knew from the opening gate I did not like her, though I tried very much to like her..I set aside many things she said, implied, and reacted to and how she reacted to them..in order to like her..in the end, I concluded that I could not stand her, not because I'm a bitch, but because she is, as well as a pathological lair and an attention seeking slag.  She made a highly offensive status one day, and I called her on it..but simply by saying "that sounds racist"..I'm sure you didn't mean it to..but it does. After I did, 2 others echoed my response..to retaliate, she went on a mission to do her best to humiliate me, which did not go very far..as she knows nothing about ME, as I said, I did not like her from the start, I certainly never had personal conversations with her, so instead she began to make things up, as she was dwindling down with trying to prove what she was saying about me, (because she could not) she deleted me..thus disabling my ability to defend myself. Which is fine..but it proves my intuition about her.  No good, from the opening gate. Since that has occurred, she has offended my sister and my mother..while I am sorry that happened, it again, proved what I was saying all along, she's no fucking good.


There's another story I will delve into later, this is way too long..and I will let you rest on this.


As for my friend, my twin..she gets it, as she warned me before about someone and I didn't listen..that will never happen again.


xoxo
Sobria.


You can follow me by clicking this link to my #socialmedia site.

How to raise a juvenile delinquent

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1.) Tell them if they don’t stop misbehaving you will punish them.. and then don’t, they will learn there are no consequences for their actions and only JAIL will teach them there is. Trust me, I know. 


2.) Ask them no less than 10 times to do something or to stop doing something, they will quickly learn they don’t have to listen to you or “anyone” for that matter.


3.) Let them swear, talk back, hit adults, abuse animals, and be disorderly with nothing more than an obligatory smack and then give them a treat, start this from a young age so they will never respect anyone but the prison guards.


4.) Permit your child to run the house, if they want to watch TV all day, let them, if they don’t want to nap, don’t make them, if they don’t want to go to bed at bedtime, don’t make them; instead let them yell at you, kick you, and throw a tantrum!! That's when you give in....this way they will know that they Really DO run the house and when they are older, they will run you too. Have FUN!


5.) If anyone DARE try to correct your child or teach them any manners at all, quickly put them in their place, after all, this is your future convict, not theirs!


6.) Never eat as a family, let the child(ren) eat in the living room while watching their favourite TV program or while on the computer.


7.) Join a social networking group such as facebook or myspace, play all the games they have to offer and ignore your children, to hell with helping the kids with their homework, who cares what they are getting into, it doesn't matter if they are fighting or being destructive..What difference does it make? They are eventually going to end up incarcerated anyway!


8.) NEVER let the children join sports, they might learn to share, play as a team, and respect others. This is a big NO-NO.


9.) Do not teach them any responsibility for themselves, their toys, or actions. If a toy gets broke because they intentionally broke it, buy another one, after all they have a right to show anger too..if they disrespect an elder, who cares? That elder probably tried to teach them some manners..who needs that? If they hurt themselves because they were doing exactly what you had told them not to..Cuddle them and give them a lolly, after all, it is much easier than explaining why they were hurt to begin with, isn’t it? There will be plenty of opportunities for them to explain their actions to a judge someday..


10.) Tell them that they have to take a nap and when they scream NO at you, offer them a treat instead.


11.) Last but not least, be sure that on those rare occasions, you discipline your child..Mainly because they are inconveniencing you, that you promptly apologise for it and give them lollies, they aren’t to understand that you aren’t capable of raising a child..!

~Sobria~

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