Your Forced Positivity Is Making Me Nauseous

Your forced positivity is making us all feel negative. 

When you delete your friends because

1. They are having problems and you block them
2. When your family member or friend is struggling with addiction or some other form of illness and you ignore them because they aren't being positive
3. When you criticize someone for feeling upset, angry, and or sad
4. When you constantly tell others "just try being positive" 

And when you refer to everyone as toxic, negative, or otherwise beneath your "awakened ass"  You are the negative one. The toxic ones and the "normal" people living life as it comes, enjoying the experiences of what it is to live, and even the sad, times, hard times, and miserable times, they are doing what all of us do, live in the moment and actually go through and deal with what comes there way, instead of masking it and pretending that everything is "positive" so you can be so " positive'.  

That is not the reality of life, it is not what life is meant to be either. No one is going to reach complete "spiritual" bliss until they are deceased.  Life is about learning, growing, experiencing "everything" and finding the solutions, the path, and the best way for them to bring happiness again, even when there are some background noise and drama. 

Of course, I am not implying that we shouldn't find the lessons in situations or see if we can't find an upside to something, but we first go through the natural emotions of what has occurred. That is being human. 

People go through things in life and as a friend or loved one, it is the strongest, the most loving, loyal, and emphatic people that stand by them and help them through it.  Honestly, it IS the weak ones that can't be there for them because it's too toxic and negative, and they don't have the strength, loyalty, or empathy to do it.

I know, there are people, whether we love them or just like them that are constantly mean, negative, and really toxic person - examples I can think of are:

1. Always putting you down
2. Always judging you and others in a bad way
3. Always borrowing and never returning - and sometimes even if they do return, always borrowing is taking advantage of you
4. Always ignoring you unless they need or want something
5. Avoiding you while pretending to like you
6. Dismissing your feelings and problems 

Just my thoughts, no need to take them to heart;_

~Sobria~ 

My Body, My Choice

• Posts

• June 2, 2019
 
 

Indeed it is! You have the right to choose to be responsible for your body and for your lifestyle. You can choose to take birth control and you can choose to be abstinent. You can also choose to be morally accountable for your decisions that could affect your body. 

Your Responsibility – Your life

My body, my choice is not even implying, it is stating if I want to kill my child, I will. Yes, it is your body and you have a DUTY to be responsible. You have a duty to be a loving, caring, and kind adult who chooses to live her life in a way that she doesn’t get pregnant when she doesn’t want to be. 

Accountability

“My Body, My Choice” is probably one of the most entitled things I have read. It’s as if you are deciding if you will have the coffee or cappuccino, there is no emotion in those words, just a simple decision. It is hard for me to believe that we have become grown women who shrug off our own responsibility and accountability. Abortion is an inhumane option- period. What happened to the days when we took precautions instead of shrugging and flatly stating “it’s my body and my choice.” Perhaps it is time that we are provided with a bill for cremation or burial for that aborted baby, but you won’t and you probably never wonder why. 

Elective Termination without Medical reason

I know that many women never make or come to this decision easily at all, and I have to say no matter how hard the decision to have an abortion does not and will never make it the right decision. Many women, however, do arrive at the decision easily, those are always the ones who are using abortion as birth control. Join any pro-abortion group and you will see some really vile, heartless, and cold comments about “killing my baby if I want to”. That is admitting it is a baby, Some prefer to use the term “embryo” and others use “fetus” as if that makes it any less of life growing. 

No matter what term you are using, if it is not due to incest, rape or a medical reason, you are intentionally killing your child because you think you don’t have to be responsible, you are somehow entitled to kill your baby. Even if you are upset on the way to the clinic or doctors, you still followed through..right? 

Adoption

Always an option. The argument that there are enough unwanted kids in foster care doesn’t apply here. Adopted babies are given to the adoptive parents upon birth. 

The children in foster care are children who’ve been removed from their homes. 

Sobria 

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by Rants By Sobria 

Admins of facebook groups

Have you ever noticed that an admin of any group on Facebook believes that somehow they have become king or queen of an entire country?  I have.

Examples I have seen are a disturbing trend amongst those with self-esteem issues lower than the roots of a thirty-year-old tree.

Of course, we also see this with comments on news stories, especially if President Donald Trump is the subject. It's pretty embarrassing to see people acting like a bunch of angry mongrels.  In fact, anything regarding the President and any defense of him comes with backlash and the reason is simple, ego and brain bleeding. Just my humble opinion.  If you believe everything that a far right or left wing news agency prints, you are fairly stupid.  We have a once respected newspaper writing "opinion" pieces that are heavily democratic in opinion, no in-between. Most people read these opinion propaganda and believe it is actual news because of the paper that is spewing it. Wake up for the love all things sacred.  Now we also have the flip side, where pro POTUS also slants things to a point in which it is inaccurate.

Back to the point of my post here -

No one rules you and no one should, it is up to you see something and question it, especially behavior...or stories that seem particularly slanted.

You do not NEED to be in a group or on a page, they need you and the more people that leave it due to seeing abuse and snarky behavior, the more they will have to pipe down and realize who's really in charge.  If you witness the unfair treatment of another member, leave the group, if you like it, start your own and remember you are not a King or a Queen just a humble person who expects others to treat members with honesty, dignity, and kindness. It really isn't that hard, unless one's ego is far bigger than they are and that is always the case.

I have seen other members behave in a bullying and demeaning type of way in many groups I have been in, I leave them!! I will not give a page or group numbers who allow such abuse to go unchecked. Most times though, it is an admin.

The all mighty GOD of a page or group that say "this is MY group or MY page"...yeah idiot, we know and you need members so....have a cup of shutty.  Funny, because it cost them nothing to create and it costs them nothing to run except internet. NO one has ever purchased an internet plan to run a page or group, again, shut up.  Also, Facebook owns that page, it is on their site, they didn't purchase anything.

Oh, and the rules....so fun!!  Many are "you can't share the content of this page"...Really? Why not? Is it illegal content? Where did you get the content from and then share it on your page or in your group?  How about "you can not delete a comment!" Oh, so if someone accidentally tags a friend on a post, when said friend is not in group or page, you must leave it or .....be BANNED!!!!  The horror!!!

Or, you must post all photos one at a time, and others, you must put all photos in an album or be called stupid, and BANNED!!!!!

How about the groups that think they are elite? You know the ones...secret groups that are created by one country to criticize the citizens of another country that they moved to!! YES, these exist and IF you ever dare question them, guess what?  You are messaged to be told you are not welcome said group and BANNED!  That actually happened to me. Ask me how much I care! I do not. I think anyone who moves to another country and I do not care why, should embrace the culture, food, people and way of life. NOT create a group that specifically bans people from the said country and goes about whinging and whining about everything that has to do with the country. It is pathetic and it is negative.  There is no power of positivity in looking for things and people to hate.

If you are a humble, kind, and have integrity, leave any type of page like that and make your own, in doing so you are taking a small step to add more light and more positivity to the lives of those who visit it.

Sobria.


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Facebook Mom

I am seeing this more and more and it is really grating at my last nerve! 

I don't mind of course seeing a mom post to their child's wall "dinner is ready", though I admit I don't like seeing it a lot, it isn't as bothersome as a lot of other things I do see.

How about those moms who carry on and on and on at how much they love their child, hold discussions with them about personal things on Facebook. I see something very disturbing about this when these two are in the same house!  

Is it not possible to love your child off of Facebook or tell them off of Facebook? Why is so important that everyone think you're a stellar mom - on Facebook?  If you can't hop off your computer and talk to your child when the child posts he doesn't want to even live anymore, you aren't a stellar mom, you're ignorant and a terrible mother, in my opinion.  This "mom" posts his wall back saying "don't say things like that honey. I love you to the moon and back."   How about you get up off your ass and go to that child, he is in the same house!  How about you not engaging in drinking with that child when he isn't even of age? I saw that post too.  And the Mother of the year award goes to..not her or anyone like her. 

I guess that goes in line with those who have perfect lives on social media, always had a great day, with great friends, and had great food...or they are off to vacation, again!!  Perhaps it's the photos of the new car, the new house, or the numerous happy snaps.  It seems that people don't go anywhere or do anything without planning the pictures to post on Facebook. How about those moms and dads who can't even take their child to the park without being on Facebook, taking 30 photos, of all the same thing, and posting them. Or the young girls taking the half-naked bathroom selfies, protruding those duck lips...or the boys, shirtless in the bathroom, flexing but trying to look like they're not.   There is always the "group" of people that must post pics and statutes about everything that they are doing, but only if it is fun.   

Facebook moms really irritate me. Yes, I tell my kids I love them on Facebook, but they don't live with me, they're adults, I don't however make a big habit of it. Instead, I call them or private message them to have a conversation. I think that is appropriate. I kid around with them on Facebook, keeping it light and easy, no need for the intimate details of who we are as people and as a family to be public knowledge.  That is the way I see it.  I'm not talking about your child graduating from any school and you not being over the moon and expressing it!  Nor am I talking about being happy and proud over an achievement they've done.  Those ARE  the reasons to express your love, pride, and excitement for them.

For the rest of it, I guess what bugs me is the intent behind it, intentional or not...it's too look like your life is oh so much better than most..and when you see you are doing that or someone actually points it out by saying something like "wow, you have a wonderful family life, is everything always so perfect and loving?"  That is when you'll throw in a status -  "I just received my electric bill, I can't believe the increase!!!!!!!!!   At first, I thought it might be a faulty appliance causing it, but remembered, that is not possible, all of my appliances are brand new, I guess I'll just have to cut my vacation back from 10 days to 7 days in order to pay it. :-(  Life can be so unfair!"   <-----still will NOT concede that life isn't perfect everyday..lol    Trust me when I tell you, I know these people, they're obviously on my friend's list, life is far from perfect ...yet for some idiotic reason they live and breathe for making people think it is.  I don't get it.

Perhaps I should not feel irritated, annoyed, or nerve-wracked by it, but instead pity them..but I've never been one to just dole out pity to anyone for any reason..

I don't see that changing.

~Sobria~

You canFollow me by clicking here.

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broken family

A death in the family should bring people closer together, not rip the family further apart.  While my family is quite divided, I would have thought this terrible tragedy would have brought about resolve, peace, and love as we all struggle to deal with the loss. I was wrong --

It's been a nightmare that started when I learned my youngest brother had been killed. He was walking to an appointment and the driver of the car was blinded by the sun and struck him and killed him instantly. It was an accident and very unfortunate. I'm not overly angry with the driver, though on that road, anyone who drives it in the morning knows the sun rises in the East, he was driving headed east, his sunglasses should have been already on..but focusing on that is laying blame and that is not what this is about.  

After finding out, it didn't get any better..

I have a particular niece who loves to argue, lie and stir trouble. She is addicted to attention, be it good, bad or indifferent and she absolutely hates me. Mainly, I feel, because I have called her out on the lies about her mother and everything else she can think of and set her straight with the truth. Naturally, she does not like that, it embarrasses her and makes her look bad in front of the friends she is trying to impress or gain attention from.  She doesn't like me and the feeling is mutual, especially when I know I couldn't trust her with an eraser, not because she'd steal it, but because she would try to use it to erase the truth, facts and distort reality. At any rate, she will take any opportunity to say something snotty and insulting to me, on the internet of course. Face to face she is as nice as warm apple pie. She did this the day after my brother was killed. Albeit I was, in fact, having a go at my brothers ex, who I'll call "cat," who had left him numerous times and only a few days prior to his death, left him again, and he found out for someone else, she refused to answer his calls or text messages as to why but he found out through mutual friends. As she posted his Facebook wall numerous times saying how much she loved and missed him, I became increasingly annoyed and finally asked her to please stop!  That's when the argument started, not with her, but with the niece, then the sister gets in on it, though she started off abrasive she toned it down, but it went from there, my nephew even commented a few times but nothing insulting to me.  Eventually, it calmed, but not for a while and not even when another family member commented that it was all embarrassing. It was unnecessary for the niece to stick her nose in, to defend someone she never even met the person. I was directing my words to that someone I did know and had met A for my niece, my brother had not much use for her and said as much many times for the same reasons I don't.  So it wasn't about anything other than her seeing an opportunity to say things, many things that were unkind, unwelcome, vulgar and rude. 

Then..there was the ex-family member, I'll call "Bea" who doesn't like Cat either but really hates the ex prior to that one who I'll call "Mabel, "who I get along with because I have that right.  Also, there was not a lot of bad blood between my brother and her considering she visited him and even stayed in his house for a few months, all platonic.  Naturally, none of those things are going to make this person like her, respect her or even want to tolerate her and yes, she does have valid reasons, but that is HER, not me nor my mom or anyone else.  Obviously, they do not like one another and that is between them.  When the ex-girlfriend, Mabel, wrote on a photo of my brother that she had some pictures for his kids and would bring them to the funeral, I simply replied with "thank you".  I quickly got an email from Bea stating that no one is to give her children anything without her permission and that the boys didn't even want to see her, it would be too upsetting for them, naming reasons that seemed to be more from her mouth than theirs. These children are early teens and had a relationship with Mabel as she lived with their dad just two years prior to his death.  Further to that, I should have told to her to "f-off," where was my temper? etc.  I cannot be bullied like that or manipulated to be cross with someone who made a kind gesture. Bea was insulted because Mabel bypassed her and spoke to me when Bea and I were talking on the photo. I understand that being insulting, however, they did not get along, why then would Mabel write directly to Bea? She wouldn't, not would I in that situation. This is years of bad blood, further, in my opinion, don't yell at me about it, go tell Mabel what you think, if you in-fact feel that offended and you want to say something vulgar to her..you do it.  When the argument with Bea started it was to do with this issue, where she told me that if I didn't want to, I should have just told her to do it herself.  While I am thinking, I shouldn't have to, I should not have been asked to do it, to begin with. I'm an adult, I am not in high school and I don't do anyone's bidding for them as no one does mine either. Why should I make enemies, soothe someone else's ego? I don't think that I should. I like to pick and choose my battles and I don't go after folks who are friends of mine no matter who doesn't like them.  I will say this, while I sympathize with Mabel, and on a one to one level with her, we get along, I don't like a lot of things that went on her relationship with my brother, and yes, sometimes those things affected me very much, but it was their business and not mine. Would I have wanted my brother back with her?  No, but only because of their past and the inability to ever get along among other things, no more than I did his recent ex. But that is not my call NOR is it my business. If my brother was happy? I was happy. This did not go well with Bea who had been saying she loved me and I saying I loved her too for years...and the tension grew, then it mushroomed into more things I did that made her angry, things I didn't even know she was mad at me for.  I explained to Bea that I emailed Mabel and asked her to just put the photos in an envelope and leave them on the tray, say good-bye to my brother and please be on her way, she knew why and she promised me she would comply. I also explained to Bea that I would not email Cat, as my disgust with her would not allow it. At that time, I began getting berated for my dislike of one and not the other, that is what it boiled down to. But using the children's feelings as reasons for me being wrong.  I finally came out with what was on my mind and explained I really felt that she was using the children (teenagers) as an excuse for her own agenda and I still do feel that way...I could be wrong but I don't think I am.  Even if I am wrong, I am not wrong for how I feel, how I act, yes, how I feel? I don't think so.  It snowballed from there to being accused of making her look like an asshole over my brother's ashes.  The story with that is that I was told what would be done with his ashes and who was controlling that decision. I did not like the idea at all and I asked Bea what her opinion was, she didn't either and mentioned perhaps her kids would like to have them, she did not know. So I took the initiative and called my mom and mentioned this conversation and she said, you know? You are right, they should be asked. My head has been in such a fog, it didn't even occur to me.  I called mom back a few hours later to see if anything had been accomplished, she told me that the kids would be offered. I was so happy and told Bea, by then she had spoken with her kids and they were quite happy with the original plan, so it would stay as it was, but at least, to me...they were asked what they wanted.

Suddenly, I am a bad person for doing that as I made Bea look like an asshole. I don't get it?  

Then I was a shit-stirrer and then a bitch, and so on. It became all too much for me, I am grieving the loss of my brother, so I simply advised her that I loved her and I am here for her and the kids, as I always have been but I refuse to do this anymore, it had been 2 hours of me defending myself, explaining myself and I was getting nowhere. So, a 15-year relationship is down the tubes and I feel mainly because I would not tell someone she hates to F-off.  I suppose it was a relationship much more superficial than I ever thought, which makes me sad.

Over the week of my brother's death, I think I had fights with 3 people all except one was a family member, all the while grieving. It is so sad, even though I did actually start one of them, with Cat.  I know that she knew she'd get a reaction, it's what she did with my brother, be an instigator to get a fight, well I'm not sorry a bit because as I see it...I beat her at her own game and how do I know?  I woke to an email from her on the day of my brother's wake that read "your brother didn't even like you, so f-off".  Well, if that doesn't say she tried to hurt me deep nothing does! I am unaffected, my brother and I had a good relationship and there is nothing she can say to change that. One has to wonder though, what kind of person does that? A mean spirited, hateful person is my guess.

I must come to realize that this family is broken and it is no longer up to me to try and salvage it. If you can't gather willing participants, it is broken and that is how it shall stay. That is so depressing, thank goodness for good friends and a wonderful husband and other members of the family who love me dearly as I do them.

Take care and have a wonderful holiday season.

Sabria.

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Is it a mirage?

PEOPLE ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM..ARE THEY?

Some times, it is as if I am listening to a wood chipper right next to my ear, chipping away at branches as I sit wincing at that screeching grinding noise that accompanies it. 

It makes me very uncomfortable and suspicious when someone will tell me all about how horrible a friends child is, a child that is so horrible, they would like to put their hands around the child's neck and choke it..while they tell me this, they stand up, assume position, bent over far enough to reach a child, while their face is showing anger and hatred, their hands are making the motions..then go on to say that "but the mother is such a good friend, she just lets that little brat get away with everything and makes excuses for every nasty thing she does, I swear that child is evil."

 As I am witness to this, I sit there well aware said person would never do such a thing. It was a way in which to express her absolute frustration with a situation there is no control over. STILL..when you later hear this person complaining about the neighboring dogs barking early in the morning and stating that if said dogs keep it up, said person will kill them by throwing rocks at them..I have to wonder is this person for real or just accustomed to speaking so violently when it comes to things she does not like or gets overly frustrated with.  I don't have the absolute answer to that. I can only say:

These are just bad habits to me..and I believe that is all they are, habits..and yes, I do believe people can pick these up if that is how they were raised for example or in the process of  growing up; Maybe it was how all their friends were, or maybe just one and this person was impressed by the theatrics and the tough act that went along with it..you never know how someones life was and why as adults they say and do things that are really "out there." I do not believe this person would maliciously harm any child or animal..even though it seemed as if said person would..I do not believe for a minute that it ever would. If I did, I would have reported the confessions to the authorities. 

Sometimes, I believe we are all so quick to judge others based upon what sets well with us. I have seen pages on Facebook about animals where people day in and day out verbally abuse people who have had to part with their pet, who have posted photos of a child in a crate with a caption saying "you wouldn't let your kids live this way, don't let your dog live this way".  Who have written there is "a special place in hell" for dog and cat owners who leave their pet at a shelter and so on. I do not comment on such things because it would be WW3.  I believe that an owner should seek out a rescue and I believe crates are great for puppies and dogs, they are after all, den animals..no I don't think they should live in them, but they are great for them to sleep in. For being such "dog experts" and I use that term loosely, they obviously don't understand dogs are pack animals, and no dog, no matter it's size should ever be permitted in your bed. While it does not mean they have to sleep in a crate either Just my silly little opinion.  

My point is, we all don't "know it all", while there are experts on every matter..tried and true is what I listen to..and they are by experts with years of education and training and proof to back up the advise they give. It's like asking my non-surgeon neighbor how to perform a c-section and then stating it as fact and now believing I know how to perform one. Just an example.  I think much of the time some people just want to be important and to be heard, they want their opinion to be valued and authenticated and these pages give them that..at least in part. I also believe the same for those the write blogs, myself included. I have no idea how my blogs come across, I do not know if they make me important, but they sure do give me a way to vent, to explain, and to open my mind up to those who read it. 

~SOBRIA~

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Life ends...

Sad news..My husbands mother did pass away, as did his Nana the week before. It has been a very trying time for him and his entire family. 

I met his Nan in 2005. She was a sweet, little lady with a lot of energy. She played bingo everyday, ate like a horse at dinner and helped with all the cleaning up. She presented herself as the lady that she was. She dressed nice, wore a bit of make up and wore her jewelry. I adored her. It was sad when she passed..she had a sudden heart attack and though they tried with surgery to save her, it was her time. She will be missed by many, myself included.

I also met my husbands mom in 2005. She was always full of life and when she laughed, her whole face showed it. She was, as a scorpion, a spit fire as well!! Outspoken, true to her word and loved her children and grandchildren very much. She was generous and she was grateful. In 2007 we had her over to our house for 2 weeks for a visit, that was when I got to  know her best. I enjoyed those days and nights spending time with her and getting to know her better. It was sad to see her go back home, but before she did, she told my husband something that has stayed with me since, she said "That was the first time that I have felt comfortable in anyone's home, I enjoyed myself". That meant a lot to me, considering 4 of those days she spent in the hospital with pneumonia. I tried very hard to ensure she was comfortable and that she had her meals on time, being a diabetic, that was very important. In 2009 her health began failing, she was in and out of the hospital a few times.  I believe being a diabetic contributed to some of the issues that were going on. As her health waned, she was eventually deemed unable to care for herself in her own home and had to be placed in a care facility. Her needs went beyond what one or two untrained people could do. In recent weeks, she had stopped eating and drinking, while they tried a feeding tube, she pulled it out. Eventually, they did her back on track and then her mom died. The family had to tell her about her moms passing because they were worried a visitor might, and that is not the way for her to have found out her mother had died. She died in less than week of finding out. I do hope she is at a peaceful rest now. I believe that she had taken all the hurt, pain and losses she could. Her husband died in 2003, then her partner who she had met in 2005 died in 2008, and her mom in 2012.  From past experience in dealing with a family member (from a past marriage) who endured a leg amputation after her husband died, I can say that losing their dignity is awfully hard on them. While there is always the "will to live", surly does not mean at any cost. The elderly, sick and injured, should be treated with the utmost respect and great care taken to help them maintain their dignity and keep their pride intact. I could not imagine going through such an ordeal with or without the grieving process of losing someone I love. 

Looking back on the many people who have died before me, whether they died young or old..it reminds me that life is so precious, it so delicate and it is not guaranteed for tomorrow. With that in mind, I beg you to live your life to fullest, love one another, be kind to one another and be kind to yourself. Laugh as loud as you'd like, smile as widely as you can..and when you pass on, know that people will remember you for who you were..not what you owned, not what political party you were in, not for anything but the way YOU made them FEEL. 

My husband and I plan to prepare for our own death, by picking out the music we want played, photos we'd like to be displayed and maybe even write down our thought for our our own eulogy, put it all on a memory stick and give to our attorney with our will. 

I'll be back to ranting real soon!!

Much love,

Sobria.

Blessings

There are so many blessings in our lives, but sometimes we choose to not look at them, be thankful for them or acknowledge them. I understand that most times it is because our problems and stresses can overtake our mind and be set as a priority...but if you ask me, that is a huge mistake!  

I heard a saying many years ago, you get what you give..and while I am sure that is not always true..for the most part, it is.  If you always be thankful for the little things, you will find, I believe, that life is much easier to get through. When we focus solely on the negative aspects, which is easy to do with so many world issues and so many people without work, we become negative..which may attract negative energy; obviously what I am getting at is the opposite holds true. 

I have been really depressed and feeling sorry for myself. I am in another country, very far away from my family and friends..Most of the people I have met here are shallow and self absorbed..not all, but almost all. It does not set well with my sense of fairness and my natural need for harmony and peace..So, I have been pondering home, the familiar and those that I know and love, who are not shallow and self absorbed.  These bouts of being homesick are not easy to get through, they are so turbulent, I feel a need to leave NOW, not later, and..I can't. I must remind myself why I moved here to begin with..but none of that has worked out..some of it my fault and most of it "just the way the cookie crumbles".  While I love this country and I love the friends I have made, as well as the family I have met..but ultimately, it is not my family and it has been made (gently) clear by them on a few occasions. Sometimes, I think moving so far was a lesson..to not take for granted the family you have and the friendships you've maintained for over 25 years. Though, new experiences and new friends have also been a wonderful experience..except when they went sour. I do have one friend here who I treasure..but she too... is far away from me. 

I do feel discouraged at times when it is always me telling family and friends "I miss you and love you"..when I do not get in return...It makes me wonder, am I missed as much? Am I loved as much? I have thought about the idea of stopping myself from doing it to see if anyone writes that to me...yet, I can NOT because that would be denying them my love (from afar) and the possible joy of knowing that someone who loves them, also misses them. 

The blessings in which this post is about is to be thankful for your past, present and hopes for the future. I am grateful for the internet, Skype and tinychat..I have been able to talk to my family and friends for hours, for free..I can see them and hear their voice, as they can see me and hear mine. It makes home seem not so far..and it helps me sleep so peacefully knowing I have connected with them on that level. 

I feel blessed for food on our table, a roof over heads, the good health of all my children, husband, siblings, my parents and friends..Though I am saddened that my mother in law is not doing so well..I hope that they (The doctors) are able to get her back on track. I'm grateful she the care of a medical facility and good doctors. 

I feel blessed that I have compassion and empathy, it seems to me that not many do. So many or driven by lust and money..they forget or do not even think about those that are destroyed in the crossfire. So many abuse a child or an innocent animal to feel powerful, because inside they feel so weak - or are mentally destroyed. What the excuses are do not concern me as much as the harm. WE all know right from wrong and they do too, otherwise they would not try to hide it and conceal it.

I am blessed because I feel, because I think, because I care and because one day I know, being positive about my circumstances will bring good things into my life. If I focus too much on all that is wrong, I will be buried in darkness and sadness and that is where I would stay. I refuse to let my shortcomings define me.

xoxox Sobria.

Hypocrites

I think we can all agree we've met at least one, if not a few in our time. I find these people quite interesting; I often wonder if they even take a look at themselves before they go spouting off at the mouth?

An example might be a man who steals tools from building sites, smacks his child so hard he leaves his handprint, and is so dominant over his wife, she grabs her kids and runs when he goes into "red alert" mode. Yet, this person, I wouldn't call him a "man", believes he is a great parent and husband, sees nothing wrong in HIS stealing or doing illegal drugs, and doesn't seem to actually find any faults with himself whatsoever. Yet, this person has security cameras around his house..no one better try to steal from him, only he can steal... 

In many ways, his spouse is no different as she too enjoys many hits off the pipe throughout the day and knows that she has to hide the children's misbehavior from the father. While I believe she likely feels she is protecting them, she is paving the way to a life of deception. Children do learn from us as they watch and learn how we handle things. I'd think parents would fully understand this. Obviously not. The mother spends her time messing up the kitchen and leaving it, probably to take a few hits off the pipe, making the children something to eat and handing it to them in the living room, so they can still watch television. I read an article once that described such a practice as the reason so many children are obese.  I suppose that it also does take away from time that could very well be spent at the dinner table where all meals, in my opinion, should be eaten, but it's possible it could improve digestion; to be sitting up straight and eating properly. I'm no expert, I'm just guessing about digestion.  

Both of these individuals come from another country, no, this is not their motherland. They elected to come to this country, to build a life away from the drugs, crime, and gangs in their homeland. So why then do drugs? Why then be a part of crime (stealing)?  They also don't even like the people of this country, they refer to them in many foul ways and claim to have never met a "smart" one yet! 

I am not certain that I see too many smart things about them either to be honest. Certainly, jeopardizing your children's welfare by physically abusing them, growing an illegal drug, or even having said illegal drug in your possession is not very smart, nor is stealing very expensive items from building sites very smart, the higher the value, the bigger the crime, and what if one of the workers caught him? What might they do? Would they call the police or would they figure out that he's the guy stealing everyone's expensive tools that they rely on to get work to feed their families.. There is a strong possibility of street justice over calling the police.  What good does that do the family income? How smart is that? How smart is it to be of childbearing age and not be on any birth control and drink alcohol and smoke pot all the time?  I don't find that to be very smart either.  How about sitting outside, talking on the telephone, cussing your neighbors up a storm, and being dumb enough to think they can't hear you..that's not very smart..it's also not very smart to borrow things from said neighbors..you know they heard you.. I'd be careful what I borrowed and put in my mouth!  This is the same person who calls others backstabbers and users. 

I can't think of a better example at the moment to describe a hypocrite!

Be happy! It really messes with their heads

One of the things I love is, despite any attempt to bring me down, I generally remain happy. There is no doubt that initially when I see things without my rose colored glasses on, I am deeply hurt and disappointed, but it never lasts long, I am resilient and truly have a wonderful home life as well as friendships that are positive, fulfilling, and loving. 

There are several people I know, and have been friends with for well over 26 years. We have had moments, but never fights or sour words, we respect each others differences, we don't try to change one another, and we never call each other names. One thing we have always done is be respectful to one another, it has never been "my way or the highway". We actually love one another and each other's families as well. 

If or when, someone enters your life, for whatever reason, and there is always a reason, and they are initially a great help or just a warm person to be around, and you find that really changes into something of quite the opposite, there is also a reason for that. It is not to teach you anything really, but nevertheless it will, I believe that the reason is to gauge how well we respond to it, because that..will surly show your own personality.  You will do the usual mourning of losing someone you considered a friend, and hopefully you will quickly move on. It is important to focus on what is positive in your life and smile..be happy to be rid of someone who may have cursed you out behind your back, or used you for financial gain, or maybe just took for you for their mule. Whatever the case, be happy that the person(s) and the universe showed you that he and or she does NOT have you or your best interests at heart! It WELL & TRULY is a Blessing!!!  No more wasting time..

I love that I have such a wonderful disposition that I bounce back..there is no doubt that I will recall what the person(s) did from time to time, but I certainly do not live my daily life based upon it. I love my life way too much for that! I love the real friends that I do have and treasure way too much for that. Imagine if I let the actions of a few, impact my life so much that I began to become judgmental, suspicious and overly opinionated with real friends?? That would be catastrophic! They do not deserve that, no good friend does, no matter if this is a friend of one month or 3 centuries!

Be happy!!! Smile in the face of adversity, stand up to a bully and stick up for yourself! If you feel that you can't? Send me a message, I will help you overcome that!

xoxox

SOBRIA.

Bitter or Angry?

I asked myself this question the other day because as I read my own blog, I thought, WOW you are either bitter or angry, maybe even both!!! I needed to be honest with myself and the answer was- yes, I am angry. I am angry about many things from the past, very angry in fact. 

Anyone who has endured much of the things that I have, I believe would feel no differently. What does not help is those disappointments and unrelenting heartbreaks are so close to the surface, yet we go through our lives day to day not really thinking about it anymore..believing it is the past. I am here to say that for me, it really isn't, it is as close to the surface as it can get. How I know this is due to a process called self preservation. Which I can describe for me to be about ensuring I do not allow anyone to be abusive toward me ever again, to make sure that I do not associate with anyone who has displayed an abusive nature. 

I do not play well with those whose first love is money and power.  Immediately ones mind may go to a politician or some sort of profession. However, I am really talking about ordinary people.  Some "ordinary" people wield power in different ways, it might be in the office, a boss that never asks, or says would you or could you please..instead may just slam things on your desk and demand a time frame for it to be done.  It might be a spouse who is verbally abusive and goes out of his or her way to humiliate you, it could be a friend who never misses an opportunity to let you know that he or she is doing far better in life than you are..it could also be a child abuser and/or an animal abuser, depending on which one they have.. children or animals.  It could be someone who refuses to take no for an answer..and just pushes and pushes..by saying no, you are making them feel powerless, thus they relentlessly call and call if you have hung up on them..or if you have for example..requested they no longer contact you, will continue to do so..a lot. Just a few examples that I consider to be traits of an "ordinary" person who is in love with power (and control).   Money, we all know those whose first love is money; in my opinion, they are the ones that constantly flash it..talk about what they have bought (always pricey items), vacations, boats, cars, toys, and everything else. Generally, you know how much their mortgage is, how much their car cost, how much private school for the children cost, how much their jewelry is worth, and what they make a year, or a week..whichever they carry on about. They generally pick friends who they deem to be less fortunate..because lets face it, if they hung around those who made as much, whether they made it known to everyone else or not, it would be a challenge for them to brag..now wouldn't it?  

Those are the sort of people I just can't stand to be around. I am not intimidated by anyone in power, I am not jealous of anyone who lives well and I surly do not feel inferior by either. What I do feel is a sense of disgust at the behavior..period. This is NOT to say that everyone who holds high professional positions and make excellent money are all lovers of money and power first, or at all. There are many people who are definitely financially secure with a powerful position in life who are compassionate, loving and caring. I have lived well, and I have lived on an excellent income, and I never demanded anything from anyone, I never bragged about what I had, in fact, I preferred that no one knew. I was generous, usually anonymously, and sometimes not so much, especially if anyone needed help and came to me for that help, I always helped. I never felt I was better than anyone else and I never treated anyone as if I were. BECAUSE I WASN'T. Money does NOT make anyone BETTER in ANY sense. The only thing anyone should judged on is who they are as a person, nothing else.

When I mentioned that my bitterness or anger is generally close to the surface, I did so because I have seen myself in action (obviously). I do not tolerate blatant disrespect towards myself or my loved ones..ever and I am not ashamed to admit it. I do not deserve it..no one deserves it..not an ordinary person. Yes, there are crimes committed that we may make comments on that are disrespectful, but it is because of what they have done, this is not what I am talking about when I say that no one deserves it. 

  

Sometimes I wonder if I am the "watch" for things with people that I know I just can't handle or accept..but in thinking about that, I will say..no, I am not. I am myself when I meet someone, I expect them to be as well, I do not pre -judge anyone, I do not look for bad things, when I have decided that I like them, I just enjoy them for who they are. Basically, as best as I can describe it, it is when they feel comfortable enough around me to be themselves that I will know who they really are, which naturally occurs when you spend a great deal of time with them. When I see dominating behavior, or a love of money & power..I'm instantly disappointed. I know that my sense of right and wrong can not tolerate that in my life..been there & done that..and those feelings of anger resurface, the ones I thought were in my past..and I must wash my hands of the situation with those people. I will have nothing to do with them.

It might sound as if I think I am really something special..that couldn't be further from the truth..but what I am is honest, especially with myself. I can not feel and be content in MY life if I allow myself to be surrounded by those who pretend to want to see you do well, while praying that you don't, by those who use you as their sounding board, yelling their vile profanity and hate, by those that want you to feel defeated by letting you know how far you must go to reach their level (they measure success by money & power)..by ANYONE who isn't a "friend". 

You also do not need those kind of people in your life. Live well, live happily, live contently..take the trash in your life, to the trash and don't look back.

xoxo SOBRIA.

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